Who We Were Before by Leah Mercer – A Poignant Review of Grief, Marriage, and Loss
Who We Were Before by Leah Mercer – A Poignant Review of Grief, Marriage, and Loss
By: a.d. elliott | Take the Back Roads - Art and Other Odd Adventures
A Rite of Fancy Book Recommendation and Review
Life after a child's death.
A short summary of the book Who We Were Before:
Who We Were Before by Leah Mercer is a quiet, emotionally devastating novel about a marriage shattered by the loss of a child. Told through a restrained and intimate lens, the story explores how grief seeps into everyday life, altering communication, intimacy, and identity. As the couple struggles to survive their shared tragedy, Mercer shows how sorrow does not always arrive loudly; sometimes it settles into silence, resentment, and distance. The novel focuses less on the moment of loss and more on the long, painful aftermath: who we become when the life we imagined is no longer possible.
My favorite quote from the book:
"You can’t control the other person, you can’t control emotions, and
you can’t control the future."
Leah Mercer, Who We Were Before
Questions to ponder while reading:
Is it possible to rebuild yourself?
Do you blame yourself unnecessarily?
My review:
This book broke my heart, truly. Who We Were Before captures how grief can fracture a marriage not through dramatic explosions, but through the accumulation of small, unspoken hurts. Mercer’s writing is understated yet profoundly effective, showing how love can exist alongside resentment, guilt, and exhaustion. The novel is a sobering reminder that loss doesn’t just take what is gone; it quietly reshapes everything that remains. This is not an easy read, but it is a meaningful one, especially for readers drawn to emotionally grounded stories about love, grief, and the fragile work of staying connected.
_____________________________________________________________________________
About the Author
a.d. elliott is a wanderer, photographer, and storyteller traveling through life
She shares her journeys at Take the Back Roads, explores new reads at Rite of Fancy, and highlights U.S. military biographies at Everyday Patriot.
You can also browse her online photography gallery at shop.takethebackroads.com.
✨ #TakeTheBackRoads
Enjoyed this post? Support the adventure by visiting my sponsors, shopping the gallery, or buying me a cup of coffee!
