Meditation 6.7.19 - A Pen and Ink Doodle
Do you journal?
My grandmother loved was an amateur genealogist and loved family history (which she passed on to me). She collected all sorts of documents related to our families' past and had several different (often self-published or simply typed and photocopied) autobiographies, biographies, and journals.
I used to love reading through the autobiographies and biographies. It was interesting to me what people did and thought and, most importantly, how they wanted the rest of the world to see them.
I approached the journals with fear and a feeling of invasiveness though and never really liked reading the journals of my forefathers. I felt the same way when I attempted to read the journals of Sylvia Plath and Frieda Kahlo, neither of which I have finished, and I regret even trying.
"Everyone" talks about how helpful journaling is in your life, but the vulnerability of writing down my most personal thoughts and then having them read and scrutinized later disturbs.
Also, I disagree with using a journal as a way to write down a list of the day's complaints and grudges. I have always felt like that form of journaling creates a negative thought pattern. I feared that journaling would become a way to wallow in problems.
Despite these fears, and with a solemn vow from Fish to destroy my journals when I die, about seven years ago, I finally discovered the allure of journaling and have become a near-daily writer.
Yes, journaling has been a great way to bitch, and I do occasionally indulge in it. But, even more important, I find the process helps me order my thoughts and formulate my opinions and plans. It has encouraged self-discipline and developed my sense of gratitude. Journaling has also helped me work through any mistakes I've made and helps me deal with my hurt feelings and it has allowed me to exam my perspectives and even adjusted a few of my paradigms.
How have you found journaling to help you?